The Father Wound: Recognizing Patterns and Breaking Cycles
In this blog post, we will be diving into the deeper aspects of creating balance in the fire element in life. The influence of one’s father is significant to be aware of when exploring both the shadow and light sides of this element. How our fathers treat us is our first impression of what masculine energy is meant to be like.
They become the role model or template. Even if that role model is harmful, there is a deep unconscious pull to love that expression of the masculine. In later years in life, the energetic bond with the father will be mirrored again and again in relationships of all kinds—connections at work, romantic partnerships, and even our understanding of the elements of nature.
Using self-reflection and healing practices to illuminate disharmony caused by the connection with one’s father offers us the ability to positively transform our connection with masculine energy. We can visualise this as if there is a divine and wounded masculine energy within us. By becoming conscious of unhealthy patterns, we weaken the wounded and strengthen the divine.
How to Recognize Unhealthy Patterns
The fire element in the world around us consistently mirrors how our inner masculine is feeling. When speaking about the strengths or positive aspects of this energy, I use the term divine masculine. The shadows, on the other hand, I am using the term the wounded masculine. Being aware that there are two different expressions of fire is supportive.
This allows you to take a few steps back from what you are experiencing. You are not these patterns that are playing out in your life. You are the conscious awareness that is observing everything that is unfolding. By having this separation from the patterns, it awakens the feeling of empowerment that we can positively transform this aspect of our lives.
We experience the wounded masculine being expressed when we are…
Struggling with self-esteem
Feeling a sense of competition with everyone
Being easily intimidated by others
Attempting to undermine other people’s success
Failing to respect other people’s actions
Behind our own or other people’s wounded behaviour is a small child who was not well cared for by their father. This could be their birth father or a father figure. It also encompasses the masculine energy that is expressed through women. Single parents embody both the masculine and feminine roles for a child.
Additionally, in younger years, we pick up these unhealthy patterns from extended family members and the expression of masculine energy in society. A significant societal influence that has impacted the bahaviour in all kinds of environments has been the perception of women. The story of women being inferior has cultivated various ingrained disrespectful societal norms.
What this shares is that in many cultures, the feminine is not valued as much as the masculine. Putting gender aside, we can see how this has a great influence on everyone and even the environment. Both men and women suffer from this imbalance. Overproductivity, stress, and emotional dysregulation are just a few examples of how we can see this imbalance manifesting.
It is helpful to be conscious of the dynamics within society and the behaviours that have been common in families of our ancestral lineage. This opens our awareness to see the momentum behind these toxic energetic patterns. Healing these aspects of ourselves means we are breaking patterns that have gone on for generations.
This is why it can feel like an enormous mountain to climb, even if you have not had many challenging experiences with the wounded masculine from your father or your upbringing in general. To make the shift to live in alignment with your divine masculine, you are faced with breaking the curses of the generations of people that came before you.
Breaking the Cycles
As we look at these larger patterns in the outer world, this imbalance in the fire element can seem overwhelming. However, healing this wound comes back to the simple actions that we take every day. These experiences in various relationships and life as a whole are informed by how we are treating ourselves.
If we are choosing to allow the wounded masculine to lead our decisions, we attract disempowering experiences. When I look back on how my father behaved, it is possible to see the thread of why I became accustomed to treating myself in a certain way. As I mentioned above, there is nothing wrong with this.
There is no one to blame. My father was doing the best with what he knew from his upbringing. By taking a step back and noticing the wounded behaviour, I then have an opportunity to make a different choice and learn to behave differently. With this, I have awareness of the wound that is creating imbalances in my life, but I am not becoming a victim of it.
Working with the fire element has been an immense support for me to overcome a wound in my masculine energy connected with self-worth. This originated strongly from my relationship with my father. To break this cycle, I worked with fire to increase my awareness of different behaviours that I was doing that resonated with this wound.
This wound created ripples in my life, like giving my power away in relationships and playing it small when it came to my work. Everything was feeling like I was giving so much but getting breadcrumbs in return. To heal this, I had to find a way to see myself as worthy, even though that was not something I experienced from my father.
This is where the fire element has been a blessing. Connecting with the sun and sitting with fire always reminds me of my innate worthiness. It reveals the truth beyond stories, perceptions, or ideas. As I connect with the essence of fire in the world around me, it strengthens within me. I feel stronger and more connected with my inner power.
As I continued to connect with fire in the world around me, the grip of this wound from the past loosened. Spending time in nature, being aware of the language of the elements, shifted my awareness about this aspect of my life. The cycle broke for me when the wounded masculine finally had less power than my inner divine masculine.
Empowering the Divine Masculine to Rise
When the traits of the wounded masculine are running the show, the divine masculine exists in a slumber. Sleeping within, ready to awaken when the conditions are in resonance with true empowerment, success, and enlightenment. Then he rises, and the wounded reflections of the inner masculine vanish from sight.
Relationships end, jobs transform, as if like magic.
Now is a powerful time of the divine masculine rising. Those who are feeling the call to do this healing are in the first wave. They are embodying the leaders who will show an example for the people following shortly behind them on the healing journey. It is challenging to be in this first wave, as there are so few role models.
We are basing our direction almost purely on our internal navigation that knows what the divine masculine feels like. An inner knowing that comes from the unseen worlds.
Trust the call.
The father wound is ready to be tended to, cleansed, and healed within you. In turn, you will be a support for others to embrace this profound transformation. Guiding the anchoring of the divine masculine in this new age is a foundational cornerstone in the creation of a new Earth. A place that celebrates harmony and lives in alignment with the light of the fire within and around us.
