How to Heal from Heartache & Reopen to Love
Pain within the heart is something that we all experience at some time in our lives. Whether due to expected events or an unexpected turn, it creates an intense experience within the body and mind. Healing from heartache is, interestingly, something that the mind can convince us is optional. To a certain extent, it is.
However, unhealed traumas that remain within the heart tend to cause a repetition of painful experiences. For example, if your trust is broken by a lover or a friend, if that wound is left untreated, it can cause a string of relationships to ensue that have trust issues. Each time something additional happens, the wound inevitably grows.
To protect ourselves, we then come up with shields in the form of behaviours. If a string of people break your trust in relationships, the shield behaviour may be extreme independence. An unconscious or conscious story can form that people are not trustworthy therefore, I will just do everything myself to be safe.
Why Heal Heart Wounds?
Although we can live with wounds in the heart by relying on shields and logical thinking, choosing to heal from within offers you deep liberation. If you imagine each trauma within the heart is like a thorn, every time a situation similar to that trauma arises in life, that thorn is poked. We can protect it, as I mentioned, so that it is less likely to be poked, but ultimately, it will happen.
The alternative is to face the discomfort of taking that thorn out once and for all. After removing the thorn, the wound can be cared for and will fully heal. When a similar situation occurs in life again, the body will no longer have a cringing, painful response. That harmful energy will no longer have access to the sacred chambers of your heart.
Furthermore, without that thorn present, you stop attracting that type of experience. The outer world is a reflection of the world within us. If we are experiencing challenges in life, there is an opportunity to look inward to remove the blockage. Going into the outer world can often cause frustration, like those whack-a-mole games.
You solve the problem in one way, and then it just pops up again in another form. When you work with the body, you get to the root cause of why certain things are manifesting in your reality. Focusing in on the heart, when we heal the wounds in this part of the body, we can feel a better connection with the powerful energy of love.
This can be experienced through self-love, love for a person, love for nature, love for a career, and so on. Being in love is a euphoric state that stimulates an abundance of happy hormones to flow through the body. Each wound in the heart can restrict that flow of love in life. It may be a love relationship that caused pain, however, this will still affect other areas of love in life.
When in love, for example, with a new lover, it can seem like the whole world is smiling. Flowers are more beautiful, food tastes better, and relationships feel wonderful with various people. Being aware of our wounds helps us to notice when our channel of love in life is slightly blocked. Healing the heart reminds us that we have all the power within.
Whether we have been rejected, mistreated, or even abused, healing heart wounds takes our power back from external circumstances. Working with the body can guide you into your center to reflect. This type of conscious healing embraces personal responsibility while we hold space for ourselves to fall apart and to come back together more whole than before.
Using the Body as Your Compass
The sensations that you feel within the body will honestly reveal to you where energy is flowing or blocked. You can notice when a part of the body feels heavy or become aware of your posture. Heart wounds can show through difficulty with expanding the breath. To avoid feeling uncomfortable in the chest, the body starts to use shallow breathing.
Shoulders closing in indicates that the heart is closed off or shielded. The same goes for body language, such as crossing the arms. To begin the process of healing heart wounds, the first step is to simply be aware of how your body feels, particularly focusing on your chest. Observe any tension or sensations that arise throughout your day.
By noticing these signs from the body, you are practicing holding space for yourself. You are not these sensations. You are not the pain that you carry. As you take a step back into open awareness, observing all that is arising without judgment, the healing begins. The mind may want to jump in and do something with what you are experiencing.
That is normal. You can continue to use the breath to come back into your body. For heart healing, it is helpful to focus your awareness on the beating of your heart. Allow the sensation of the beating of your heart to grow as you focus your attention there. This will quieten your mind. These feelings are often illogical therefore, the mind is of little help in moving the physical energy.
Your body can keep you centered and focused throughout your process of healing heart wounds. When discomfort arises from a thorn of trauma, use your body to observe that pain. Each time you do this, it will become easier to be present with what is arising. With time and practice, the breath will continue to expand.
Using your conscious awareness and breath, focusing on your beating heart, this is all akin to an internal massage. You are loosening the tension that has been created from past pains. Tears can surface, anger can bubble up, and thoughts can move rapidly. Simply allowing everything to flow is the process of healing. The energy needs to move to be digested and ultimately transformed.
Receiving the Gift of Reopening to Love
After working with the energy physically in your body to allow the blockages to open up, the final step is to align the mind. Those traumas can create limiting beliefs within the mind that can stimulate feelings of shame or guilt for past decisions. Reopening to receive love is greatly supported by taking time to reflect on your inner story about what unfolded in your life.
Is there a way to reframe your narrative to be more empowering?
Is how you perceive the past a true reflection of what unfolded?
Questioning your thoughts opens up space to look at the situation with clarity. This includes being honest with ourselves about things that we can improve on. Possibly stronger boundaries or clearer communication could protect us from repeating the experience. There are many insightful nuggets of wisdom that we receive from healing ourselves.
Reflective writing and meditation are supportive tools for this stage in the process. These introspective exercises give you the space to unpack how you would like the narrative to be surrounding what you experienced in your life. You are the creator of your reality, and how you share your stories is a powerful aspect of what you manifest.
One experience in life can be communicated in an infinite number of ways. Some renditions of the story show a victim, others show a victor. It is the same event, but how we think about it and share it makes all the difference. Taking time for this step in the healing process supports us in creating a more vibrant and fulfilling future.
Furthermore, we can be a tremendous support to other people who are going through the earlier stages of healing. If they hear that you have found the strength within to enhance your life experience by moving through that pain, they then feel inspired to heal themselves and come out a victor as well. Your empowering narrative and wisdom gained from your experience is a gift.
This is how we reopen to love because we feel a sense of appreciation for what has happened in life.
With appreciation comes lightness, forgiveness, and clarity. Gratitude allows that deep breath to come in and expand into the body. Once again, you can open up your senses without fear of pain arising. That liberation is the positive force that makes us excited to dive into the next project, relationship, or adventure that calls to us in life.
If you are curious to learn more about practices to connect with your body and heal from within, you are welcome to explore my Body Connection Membership. In this offering, you can join a monthly live group call where I share about how fire, air, earth, and water can support you in embodying your divine healing powers.
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